Here is what is really bothering me,
aside from my seeming inability to be hired,
and the stress of having no financial stability:
For the past several months, I have the same
exact feeling I had during 1997-98, the time
when my OCD was at its worst. I felt then, as I
do now, that nothing would ever change,
that I was stuck in the exact place I was in,
that I would never get out of that place.
That is the feeling I have now: I can't seem
to find/see the light at the tunnel, and, whats
worse, I have ceased believing that there even
is a light at the end. To me, it's just all
blackness.
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2 comments:
dear!!! don't believe that, no, don't even think about it. you are passing this period but it is sure that it will pass, little by little you will have your chance, or maybe you are not in the correct place, but then you will notice and will take the current of your own stream. nothing is needed to have so much struggle. I think when we 'connect' with our way, everything goes smoothly, at least in the first term. please, try to get your positivity to your mind, you have it I'm sure!! you are fantastic, you know, don't give up! make a list with all the things that have changed since that year to now. it is sure you know yourself a lot better now, you have made friends, you have lived experiences... make your list and then read it aloud and tell your negative thoughts they are not true. don't let them ruin your emotions you have trouble enough right now!
oh it makes me mad to read you like this and that you are not having that chance you need yet, but I'm sure you will have it. I would like to have a lot of money right now to send it to you! what a thing, fucking money!!! bpufff.
If you believe in astrology I always can take a look about your transits, you will have bad aspects with your planets for sure. I studied serious-astrology a lot of time ago, and now almost don't look at it, but when everything went wrong I took a look and said, 'ok it's normal, pluto is again fucking my sun' and then I saw until when the bad aspect was there, and I felt like calmer, 'ok it has an end'. It is a bit silly, I knew that already, but it made the fucking situation a little more handle or less insondable, not so big. don't know if that would work for you, if it is, just tell me and I will tell what planet is fucking you second house (money and stability area).
just a silly thing, but I hope at least you have laughed at me a little bit. courage dear!! hanging there!!! many kisses...
sophie
thanks sophie, i am sure you are right, i am sure this will pass, but sometimes i can't see past the feelings i have right in the moment. but perhaps you are right, something about my planets are not right!! i hate worrying about money, i don't care for it yet it seems i'm always worrying over it, what madness! anyways hope you are well, thank you for your kind words, i will come & visit your blog soon! xx
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