So there are two things on my mind I need to
rant about a bit: suicide and mayonnaise.
Two separate issues of course.
So over the weekend, I found out that a cousin
of mine had shot himself, an apparent suicide.
I was not close to this cousin, we did not grow
up together or anything but it is disturbing to
hear of a suicide in your own family. And this
event has triggered in me two things: one being
that I am obsessing over the word "suicide", it
keeps popping into my head all the time, and two,
it has also triggered some superstitions in me, one
being that death always seems to come in three's
in my family. I can't get my mind off of these two things.
Now, the mayo thing is just something that has
irritated me & made me realize how completely
uneducated our general public is about the nature
of OCD, and specifically, what is/is not OCD. So
today I was at work (1 of my jobs is in a vegetarian
cafe) and I was discussing my OCD with two coworkers.
And both of them immediately were like "oh well I do
this and I do that...", telling me they both had
these little things that bother them, more phobias
in my opinion, but both were convinced they had it
too. Now the thing that one person told me was
that he hates mayonnaise, hates to touch it, has
to wash his hands after touching it. So I thought
to myself, 'So What!!' That's just a dislike or
a preference! HE has NO obsessions or rituals
attached to his dislike of mayo, it does not
interfere in his life in ANY way, yet he thinks
this slight phobia is OCD?? This just proves to me,
once again, that people who do not have OCD,
have no idea what the hell they are talking about.
The ignorance of the public about what is or is
not OCD hurts me, it angers me, it makes me wish
that a person who thinks like that could spend one day
in my head so they could experience this hell firsthand.
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3 comments:
hi jen, i agree enterely with you. people normally don't understand any kind of mental diseases, if i can name it like this (don't feel offended, i just don't know how to call them in English, in case it sounds bad). i know what you mean because my mother has suffered schizophrenia since i was a child after some hard events.
people normally fear everything in which mind is involved, or they try to find similarities to their lives. i still have explained many times things that happen to me, that have relation with my development when i was a teenager and they made some comparisons with their lives that were laughable. when i try to explain things that happen to me, because of my complex ptsd, they don't understand, also because i look very fine, because 'my mind' works greatly or because i end being the psychologist of everyone.
but when i have talked about this i have analyzed myself about my own reaction, what reaction do i want from people? and why? what do i need?
i think it's very normal people don't understand strictely what you are saying, and it is also normal that they don't try to know about these diseases if they don't suffer them. and in some way, the attempt to make 'your problem' more 'routinary', 'easier', 'more common', as the problem of whatever mayo or the thing that you prefer to sleep on one specific side of the bed... ok, that's stupid, but on the other hand is more or less cute. i mean, there are other people who reject, or fear or throw you back. that's worse. at some point, the attempt to make it something more normal, is an attempt to understand, and introduce it in their schemes. that's not completely bad.
my experiences with talking about schizophrenia or what i've suffered are difficult, in many ways, but anyway i feel fine when people give less importance to it. although it's true i feel annoyed when i don't have the possibility to explain what happens to me because people begin to talk in first person and take the opportunity to speak about stupid things and don't wait just to listen. but this is just a defect of not being good at listening, and i don't like that anyway, talking about this or another thing.
anyway, patience!! and some people understand you. kisses
hi sophie, thanks for that comment, it is much appreciated! i have worked with folks with schizophrenia and ptsd, so i can see where you are coming from. i guess that people are trying to have sympathy or empathy, when they compare their lives to yours, sometimes it feels like they are just shutting me down, you know? i guess i expect too much from others in that way. in the end, who of us can really understand what another human goes through? but yes i agree, people are terrified of the things that are related to the mind, going mad, going crazy, etc. it is a big fear for some. it is a big fear for me at times! i often feel that i am losing my mind! but I am lucky that i do have some coping skills. people assume the same things about me, as you were saying, they only see certain things sometimes.
well i am learning to have patience, it is difficult though!!
but thanks for pointing that out. xx
'i can see where you are coming from'
thanks jen! it sounds like a balsam to my heart.
really! :-) xx
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